Miserable At Summer
by Chloe Cotton47
Summary: Summertime sadness... i never thought this summer will torture me more and more like hell than before. It's been a while... here I'm living in emptiness and loneliness... without you... A Tatsugarde fic! Please R&R! Rated T, more suitable for adolescent and adult :)


ATTENTION! PEOPLE! THIS IS... MY FIRST ONE-SHOT FIC!

This is a drama, hurt fic... so the one who loves gag and hate my pathetic drama/hurt fic, I suggest you not to read it.

I present this fic for my grandma who breathed her last breath on :

21 December 2012, 08.30 a.m. rest in peace, grandma...

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**Rate : T (13 years and older) = for the language, for the genre... this is more suitable for adolescent and adult.**

**Disclaimer : Something stupid and impossible that I owned Beelzebub  
**

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**Miserable at Summer**

I walk slowly up to the hill. These useless wedges seem just making me as if I walk barefoot on desert. I can't fight the increasingly sun burning my skin. Never thought this summer will torture me like hell. And what more stupid is I prefer to wear a suit that making me spending a lot of sweat. All of these just formally to face it. If this… Is not that important, I would prefer to spend my day by watched my favorite drama for 5 hours, sat back on the couch like a buffalo. But that's not the real reason that making me wanting to avoid this.

My eyes are staring helplessly at the flowers field that I through, only hit me from my daydream. Pollens from the flower are making me conscious to the reality that telling me I become closer to the top. My legs drag me harder and harder, feels like it hit my heart harder and harder.

Finally, I reach the top. Struggle only paid off by a shady big tree which is quite soothing me. I stand under the shadow of tree and face that. There, a modest gravestone half buried in the ground. Just by looking it, my hands become shaking. I'm scared to put the flowers that I bought from the florist on its. If I could, I would run away, screamed aloud and back to my home… pretend that this is only a dream entirely… Because every time I face this, all I want is venting my sorrow that I've buried for five years.

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_I blink several times, but my vision is still blurry to look around. My body staggered, trying to stand. I groan in pain, just realize to feel a deep enough wound on my shoulder. In my presence, a brunette man was standing motionless with a lot of stabs, supported by spear and sword on his body. I bow and what I see is an infant was staring stiffly on him with a face full of bloodstains._

_"Young… Master…" I take a little step to lift his body even though my hands are trembling. He's just turning his head to me… his face draws a lot of sadness._

_"Daaa….. dah dah, dabuuu?" It seems he says that "Father's still alive, right?"I'm speechless, a little by little tears streaming down on my face._

_"Young master... That… damn….. fool sewer…. Rat…" I'm sobbing, can't continue my words. It's painful for me to say the truth. Even myself….. I can't accept this as a reality._

_"TATSUMI!"_

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_We met and hated each other. We did a fake relationship for young master sakes. I never thought you'll change my life. We never thought our lives will change drastically. For a whole year I pretend as your 'wife'. For a whole year you pretend as my 'husband'. For a whole year… love slowly growing in my heart… I fell in love with you, a human… My young master's contractor… For a month… When we finally realized each other's love, together we faced our fate, we fought together….. Forever….. We are separated by death._

_That time….. my only wish is bring Tatsumi back or take me with him._

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Five years…. It's been five years since a great war was over. A war of pride, betrayal, and love. Everything after the war just normal, except weapons, corpses of fighters who risked their lives fought their opponents and the opponents on the battlefield. People who fortunately still alive just pretend it was only a nightmare or give suggests on their mind that it's just blew over in this long life, life continues not to remember the past, there's a future's been waiting for us.

But it's not me, who can easily forget the war, including young master. He is tortured as I am. After Tatsumi's death, he developed into a quite boy, preferring to spend his time alone in the room that separates him with the outside world, does his kingdom tasks as the sole legitimate successor to the throne that is still alive. When he was six years old, he refused to return to the human world with me. Come back here just to carve a larger wound in his heart. He never accepted his death, went to his grave was only assured he will never find him anywhere else.

I never stopped regretting, blaming myself that I was too weak. If I wasn't that weak… He wouldn't die. If we died in the same time... Would I never feel this way? I never stopped wandering opportunities for a better life with him… Wandering if he was alive…. We would make a lot of memories…. Every year, every month, every week, every day, every time… winter, spring, summer, fall…. We would always photograph our happiness moments in our lives… together with young master.

But everything's I wander only daydream, nothing else. Here I am, standing in front of his grave, praying the same wishes all the time, bring a bucket of flowers that I haven't put on its. Several times I planned to suicide… But the only thing that strengthens my heart, through my colorless world without Tatsumi is a tiny hand that I've been holding. He's existence enlightening and gives coolness in the emptiness after lost Tatsumi and young master.

I turn to see him. His eyes just like mine, emerald, but somehow the way he looks at people reminds me of Tatsumi. I rub his silky dark brown hair, straight as mine. He's really his son... His innocent eyes staring me full of question. Yes, this is his first time mourn to his graveyard. He doesn't have any idea why I took him to this place. He doesn't have any idea who is this graveyard belongs.

"Mommy?"

"What's up, sweetheart?"

"Are you alright, mommy? You look a little sad" he says with a worried face.

"I'm fine, sweetheart" I bent down until my eyes meet his eyes. My hand grips his shoulder, rubbing softly. "Do you have any idea why we come here?" I smile, asking him a question that I already know the answer. He shakes his head.

"Here….. A great man lies, resting in peace. A great warrior that gives a peace in this world….. The man that I love, sweetheart… He's your father" I give a weak thin smile to him. He doesn't know about what father's word means. For 5 years, I never allowed anybody to tell him about anything relates father, I'm scared to make him sad. But I see warmness reflects on his eyes when he heard love word.

"He's an important person for us. His name is Oga Tatsumi…. Why don't you give this bucket to him?" He stares at the bucket. After a few second he takes the bucket, facing his graveyard.

"….. Mister Oga Tatsumi, my mom told me that you're a warrior who defends this world…. Hopefully you can always rest in peace…"

"… I don't know about you…."

"….. But my mom told me you're an important person for her and me… And she said that she loves you…. For me a person that is loved by my mom then he's a person that I love too" he smiles innocently and placing the bucket. I never thought he'll say something like that, moreover to someone who already died and he barely knows about him.

I'm speechless. Since he was born, I never told him about he's a half-blood human and demon and about his father. Without realizing, a little tears fall down on my cheeks.

"Mommy! Are you alright? Why are you crying?" He's panic. I try to calm down, wiping my tears.

"This is a happy cry, sweetheart" I take a note from my pocket and placing on his grave. I stand up, taking a tiny hand. "Let's go, sweetheart."

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_ Dear Tatsumi,_

_It's been five years since your death_

_It's been a while I don't come to mourn_

_And I decided to live in Human World_

_But bad news…._

_Young Master…. I mean Beelze_

_Grow become a pathetic quite boy_

_He refuses to live in Human World_

_And he never talks to me again_

_Dear Tatsumi,_

_Do you know what?_

_I was pregnant your baby_

_I found out after two months we did lovemaking….._

_I know we just did it once….. It's weird, right?_

_But I think this is a wonderful miracle_

_Sorry that when I was pregnant I didn't mourn_

_It's just….._

_It's a little sad that you couldn't see our fetal development for 9 months…_

_Couldn't see him when he was born…_

_And imagined he would been raised without you…._

_That's too painful_

_But I know…_

_You always watch over us_

_Dear Tatsumi,_

_Do you know what name I gave to him?_

_I named him Oga Hitsumi_

_Combination of our names_

_I know you'll say "The hell! That's the foulest name I've ever heard"_

_But like hell I care with your opinion….. _

_The reason I named him so because when I saw his eyes for the first time….._

_ I see your eyes on him…_

_And I felt peaceful_

_Since he was born….._

_I've never told him that he's a half-blood of human and demon….._

_ I've never told about you….._

_But I swear, Tatsumi_

_ I'll tell him about you and what happened on five years ago._

_Love, Hilda_

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**The End**_  
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DONE! This is my first one-shot, YAAAAAAY! Sorry if it's too sad and too OOC. (-_-") Anyway this is my first time wrote with the first character's perspective. And the idea of Tatsugarde's son is from Shaman King XD Yoh and Anna named their son Hana(Yoh Anna) Asakura also Ren and Iron Maiden Jeanne named their son Men XD

Oh, for the readers of my first fic, Us Against The World, i can't update this week because i wrote this fic in the different computer and i wasn't copy the file. This one-shot one i wrote in my father's laptop that i brought to my grandma's house... yeah, i went and stayed in my grandma's (my grandma who's already dead...) hiks :( house. SO forgive me...

I was inspired by Pierce The Veil song, A Match Into Water. Screamo and Post-Hardcore song, but the lyric just freaking awesome for me XD

Is it good? Is it bad? Meh, Only God who knows...

Last but not least, please reviews!


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